Ever lost a friend? I don't mean misplace him, I mean lost a friend to death? Something permanent, something you can't change, no matter how much you want to, something sudden, unexpected. I've lost my parents, my wife's parents, our relatives, and even pets to death, but that doesn't make it any less painful. It's still hard to accept. You see, last night we lost ol' Zach, the Big Guy... Zachary.

ZachPac, as we often referred to him, seemed to have a special way of dealing with humans and animals right from the start. Always willing to give everyone a fair shake, always willing to give everyone respect. It didn't matter if it was a new dog or cat, someone over to visit or even the neighbors dog coming over to check him out. As long as you're cool, as long as you don't get too pushy, you're all right by Zach.

See, Zach was our pet, a cat by birth, but don't mention it around him...I don't think he knew. He was raised in a house with a dog and two other cats, but he was always closer to Chelsea, our dog, than the other animals. When he was a kitten, Chelsea would pick him up in her mouth and carry him around, so right from the start I believe he thought he was a dog. He would follow me around when outside, like a dog. He would lay with our other dogs and sun himself when the weather permitted. He would come when called, most of the time, like a dog. When he didn't, we could often find him sleeping in the doghouse.

I do believe, as he got older, he was sure he had morphed into a human. He liked to talk to us, but like a child, his chatter could get a little tiring, even irritating, if he was sure he had something important to say, such as I need a drink, but not from that old dish on the floor. I need water fresh from the tap. See, I'm here sitting in the sink, what's taking you so long? Or, let me outside, I do believe I need some fresh air!

As for looks, you couldn't find a more handsome cat: a big gray and black mackerel tabby with a white chest and socks and a big, strong head to match. He carried himself with confidence, but never threatening. His eyes, those large brown eyes, were the key. They said it all. Everyone who met Zachary always commented on his eyes and his expressive face, right up to the end.

Maybe the reason we feel so saddened when loosing a special animal friend, someone totally dependent upon us, is just because of that. They are completely dependent upon us for their well being, though no self-respecting cat, even one who thinks he is not a cat, would ever admit to that fact. But it is true, and in the end, maybe we feel somehow responsible when we watch their spirit leave their body. We know we did everything we could, I just wish there was more we could have done. But, I think he knows that, I think he didn't have any regrets, and I know he went out with the comfort of listening to our voices and feeling our touch.

Yep, he was quite a character; always curious, ready to make a new friend, ready to comfort anyone who needed it, ready to share his couch or chair with us or our other animal family members. He was our best friend, part of our family, and a very special little guy. We'll miss ol' Zach, but I wouldn't trade any of the sorrow I feel now for never having a chance to have known him, to have him be a part of our family and for the privilege and honor of having him as a friend. Yep, he was a very special guy and the world is a little emptier today without him.

Rose & Neil